Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who’s got started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she shares about her experience as a lady dating in Russia while learning the language. It is an interest we have actually too much to state about myself I partly credit with helping me learn the language so quickly (links to my story below) as I had a Russian girlfriend during my time in Kazan which.
Therefore it’s interesting to listen to another perspective – especially one which respects the original values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed towards the western being a cool, difficult spot with a few magical architecture, variety vodka shots, and a leader whom dances with bears and whom, for many unfathomable explanation, never wears a top.
The individuals are portrayed into the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or people of gangs whom continue steadily to reference one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very A russian term! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it’s cool, vodka truly exists, and calendars having A putin that is shirtless and aren’t an issue, you can find one thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and folks.
After residing right right here for very long sufficient to catch a significant glimpse into Russian culture, here you will find the things that i really want you to learn about Russia and Russians:
1. The greater amount of conventional view of females that persists in Russia has its perks in dating (and life that is day-to-day
That I do not condone any “traditional” view of women that involves domestic violence or any kind of behaviour that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance of the woman’s free will before I get stuck into this point, I want to make it clear.
The things I do like to say is, as a financially-independent Western woman, I REALLY LIKE that Russian males hold doorways available for me which help me down buses.
Do We expect it? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it can or does not take place? Not at all.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of within my belly whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Really Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it indicates that they’re capable of thinking about other people. If nothing else, that is certainly a lot better than having a person yell “nice arse” at me personally from a car or truck…
It’s a tad bit more complicated outside of the dating scene.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me down through the coach or train. I’m Australian and I also am maybe maybe not yet comfortable leaping down one thing just a little higher than I’d want it become whenever my landing room is covered in snowfall and ice, it is therefore truly helpful.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see males assisting females with prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things up the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just what my male 14-year-old pupils are as much as if they insist upon keeping the class home available for me personally. ??
It is additionally only a little bewildering whenever an elderly girl rejects my offer to simply help her with her shopping, and then accept the offer for the next moving male.
Russia is certainly not a impairment place that is friendly various ways, therefore I do query whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized within the West and called down as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, never as due to an even more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I recall the battles with the Russians jumping off their seats to assist anyone slightly worse off than themselves, I think the West could learn a thing or two that I had with lazy/tired Melbourne workers for a train seat when I had stitches in my foot and compare it.
2. The greater amount of conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its disadvantages in dating
Therefore, whilst I favor the doors which have opened for me personally in the dating scene since we relocated to Russia (pun meant), We haven’t exactly gamed the machine and discovered excellence here.
There are specific objectives which come along side being a lady in Russia that we don’t fundamentally sign up for. I’m a pretty low maintenance woman, into the sense myself and my usual hairstyle is “yes, my hair has been washed recently enough and then left to its own devices” that I don’t spend a ton of time maintaining.
We definitely don’t appearance or odor I can probably be best described as plain like I spent the last three years living with Russian bears, but, compared to the effort put in by Russian women.
A number of my male friends and times have actually brought this through to a wide range of occasions.
A number of the feedback are innocuous:
“You don’t look muslima or dress such as a Russian”
Most are a tad bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my attitude is unquestionably a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or whom don’t just just just take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these days. We have firsthand experience and a number of anecdotes that recommend Russian guys choose ladies who will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The guy that is russian I’ve been seeing is thrilled to prepare. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He could be additionally a lot more than happy to just take the backseat on almost every other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever we prepare.
It’s a small Pavlovian, but also for now We find it cute so no damage, no foul.
Another social huge difference that I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils during my classes have actually raised their eyebrows more often than once when I’ve mentioned spending some time with a male buddy.
Navigating friendships with Russian males could be tricky because their motives could be just a little dissimilar to your personal.
This truly exists within Western tradition, nevertheless the undertones are on steroids in Russia, where wedding and kids are hot subjects between the moms and dads of solitary individuals inside their twenties that are mid-to-late.